yes your wife if dumb enough to cheat you and think youll move on.
yes you have been fooled 13 years of your life.
You like your kid, this is not a scam, their real.
And the devotion out of the scope of fidelity from your wife is real.
You are definitly better in long term staying in your situation.
but logicly you dont let her off so easily. If she cant be loyal, you odnt need to.
She will suffer from it and you feel awful but it will releave her from not being enoug for you.
You are not dumb, she is, and she is the lyer, the deceiver, the offender. .. twice. You dont have to be guilty of wanting sex with another woman anymore.
She considered twice she had the right to do it. Then you too.
Dont feel awfull, you are the good loyal spouse who just ended monogamy. And she have to assume her act and what she had done of us.
She can compensate by unfriending those whom she cheated on facebook. That is nothing. Thing she must had done 13 years ago.
You are the one fooled, I will compensate by having adventure.

Then man the fuck up.
Remember your cadet feel anxiety to the point she walking asleep and almost runned out the house.
Another kid ate cooky. your wife feel anxiety to the point she is not carefull.
She is so anxious that she is now completly devoted to you.
And you are severe with her as always.
But she know she hurted you to a point she cant just deny your pain like before. She understand you have a foot in the door.
She feel insecure. She know she lost your trust.

You made a book with her.
She is now following it as she said. You still keep thing for yourself.
you had flirt with elyse but it ended. You have maybe an opening with mm but she is not single.
It is a matter of time before you will have an affair.
It wont break her hearth as she broke yours. because you will releave guilt. and she is not obsessive about it like you.
She was able to withstand the idea of you cheating. otherwise she wont be able to do it.
And if she is unable to withstand it, she did the same to you twice. She desserve it, not the pain, to know what she did to you.
If it does not hurt her, then your pain will be invalidated. In that case, just continue the affair. Enjoy it. You are not mono anymore.