13 years later i knew you cheated.
the first time you ever showed me you were sorry about the incident
by then when i asked question you were aggressive and blamed me being jaelous.
when you got to close to another man i had to walk on it.
when i got to close to a woman, i had to back off for you feel safer.
you cheated all your ex with him, i had the right to ask you not to bring him. now i know that i was more important than me.
you had a one years relation with a young man, and i had to work on my jaelousy. you were offending the boundary on a daily basis.
dont be surprised that my view on fidelity change, i had to survive your "mistake".
it lasted a years, but my grief lasted four month, where i learned to accept your polyamorous nature and the possibility that you dont love me anymore.
I understand i cant have what i wanted, "that you never cheat me ever", I know i cant have all that i want.
but i know want i dont want, "stay in a one sided monogamy relationship", and its is important to me.
my worst fear in a relation was her to stray. then it happened, many time, i suffered until i completly lost all hope and then i stoped caring.
and now its me, a new me, a me who have the balls to return to you .