you always though she was just not a loyal person. so you closed your hearth.
you though she was trying to torture you, humiliate you and have you at her mercy.
  i will cheat you if you dont obey.
so i became harsh and severe. 

you cheated with your ex without thinking the consequence.
you were thinking that i had an affair and got revenge. then finally felt dumb a fuck.
and you though i bought your lie all these years.
you never acknowledge my pain all these years.

You finally confessed, you were not sure if you were able to switch to monogamy, you though that next 20 years would be harsh and you allowed yourself one last time.
And you lived with the lie, builded us arround it. I wouldnt given you a chance if I knew. Now i dont want to loose you.
Only today you feel what i felt back then. only today you acknowledge what you did. I treated you a slut and it hurted you bad. but you assumed.
I asked to end the relationship. she should have done it 13 years ago. you ended it without protest, first time you consider my feeling. I take it as a proof of your commitment.
but i still think of the 13 years lie, 13 years to befriend him without knowing, 13 years to blindly trust your word when i knew you lied.
You treated me like shit by imposing him. I asked her to not bring him because I knew she cheated all her lover before with him. She just ignored it and shut me up. you should had thrown him away but you were selfish. I will always have this in mind. day 2 day humiliation, he was in my home when i was not. You did not respect me.
I consider 13 years of abuse. I consider that you raped me by having sex with me after.
But i love you. I will buy your stupidity and i will be a stupid selfish slut like you. I will cheat on you everytime i think its possible. until im bored of it.