I think yes.
I worry for her.
I am ready to jump in a danger for her.
I just have to listen to "the shape of my hearth" i couldnt help but thinking how beautiful she is, not just physically.
She is the best mother , best cook , best gardener I know.
She is still my confident for many thing. (shame to me that is not all)

I beleave that she is (as i speak 2016-08-29) all about me. She is in a mood were i am everything for her.
And for myself, i want to cheat. and then return to her.

She cheated on me while 17.
Handjob to nicola
make out with binette
have sex with bernie
then she threw me away like a scum

I took her back while she had several lover and one husband in moroco.
She threw them all and beged me to start life with her and make a baby.
she was a recreational swinger (but unassumed) and allowed her one last time. while pregnant.
I never accepted it. I never fogave her of this. She had to be loyal in order that i accept to start a familly with her.
I asked her to not bring her ex whom she had sex with, still lying about it. I accepted the lie and hoped it was true.
He was at our wedding. When I said the truth 13 years later, all my anger released. And she felt like shit.
Threatened her of stupid whore. And it really hurt her. She confessed the whole thing. I said to her that ill forgive. But ill not forgot.
While in college, I neglected her a lot. I think that I may have chosen more wisely and give her more time but I focused on my grade and friend.
It personnally brought lot of strength and confidance. But she felt lonely.
Then flirted with a boy, and benched me for months. alone. I never flirted with anyone else., i always pushed away anyone who would try on me.
the fourth time i asked her to stop it, because i caught her sensually touching him. she met him secretly then.
She said she woke up one day an regreted. That almost insult my intelligence. But I accept that i abandonned her and i accept that she took affection somewhere else.
But the secret, and complicity she had with him give me trust issue. The fact that she dont allow me the liberty she took back then make me angry.
I feel like i a one way relationship. but off course she is hysterically bonded to me. This is why she want all my attention.
she regret.

I dont want to see my cheating goal as a revenge.
I just cant allow her to treat me like that.
Like when she wanted to turn a page with one last time (still angry for that)
Her past recreationnal sex habit. 
I want to turn a page on my life. being a cuck. I will not allow her anymore to make me feel like a cuck.
I want to take back the control of my sex life. That she dont own it.
She flirted with a dude because i didnt treated her well. It's like treatening me to cheat. and a wont allow that, She need to emotionally understand that is not ok.
Yes I want her to know how it feel. because she act as if it was just me.

I turn a page on a past self.
The one who would never cheat because he know how it feel.
The one who will forgive anthing in order to not be alone.
the one who was affraid to cross the line.
the one who was unable to stand in front of his lover.
I will stand, I will not let you treaten me again. I will not let you make me feel like shit anymore. I will not let you destroy me. I will be stronger than you.