like john kusac's high fidelity
i will self analyse by describing all my past crushes

Melissa Laflamme 1990? six grade
i had only crush in imaginary caracter, but once i got hooked to this girl for a day and i was terrified
then i began to think what if we were a couple. i felt in love
constant daydreaming
used hatred to free  myself

I had imaginary friend that had its double in real life, Sophie Giroux.
But I moved, then i got real girlfriend (Katie, then Julie)

1995? There were Melissa Larose whom I worked out a lot, she was tall, she was strong, she had brace, i wanted her but i was an idiot and i hurted her.

Melanie Lefevre, she was blonde, she had a huge nose. i had competition. she turned me out, multiple time

Nadine Lance, she was ginger, english, shy, i had competition. she said no.

Isabelle Rosa, 1996. three weeks of romance, month of depression

Myelle 1997, she brought out the best of me, then gone away

Gabrielle Cyrenne 2000, mutual attraction, but she had a crush on someone else

Returned with myelle.

i had crush of different kind, but it was just attraction, thing that where easy to control without problem

Emma Tanguatidi, greek, big, lovely girl, completely emotionnal crush, no boner
Jacynthe Forest, big accountant, totally sexuall crush, this girl turned me on, but shes a swinger
Marie-M F, another big girl, totally sexuall crush, but was imagining as an housewife too
    by the time i avoided lot of crush by keeping girl that fit the expectation away [Elyse, Sonya, Evolena, Melissa, Edith, some coworker at cegep]

then O, this was the most emotionnal strike i had in 10 years.
the same kind as emma. but with persistance outside context